Through my MANY experiences in life I have come to realise that just like a Tsunami friends that hurt can come and get you out of nowhere...but are they really coming out of nowhere? Now if your like me you can work people out pretty quickly so why when we sense something negative in a friend or lover do we brush it aside and hope for the best, with the naive mantra repeating over and over in our head's that it won't happen to me...People we need to stop being so gullible and desperate.
This week one of my Divas told me that her BEST FRIEND is now DATING her recently made EX! Now this all transpired in secret but the diva told me that in hindsight if she was asked to choose one of her friends that would be likely to do such a thing it would have been that friend and now she wont even leave a bar of chocolate around her! Listen people when FTH want what you have it does not matter how insignificant it is to you...they will take it so i'm keeping a close eye on my cadbury's cream eggs!
Another observation I made was that I have had people that have loved me when I have had 6 months of regrowth, a man cheating on me and eyebrows that could stuff a cushion but once I got myself hooked up at Asaba, a good man at my side and seen Dipti to get my unibrow seperated suddenly you hear comments like 'she thinks she's too nice' CORRECTION the post for today is you think i'm too nice and thats why we have the problem!
I'm not swayed by how many friends I have on facebook or how full my contacts list is on my samsung... I just want a few that are good to the bone.
Some people like to keep you where they can keep a close eye on you so whenever they think they have it bad they can look back at where they left you and breathe a sigh of relief that someone is worse off than them. When they are ready they may look back at you...BUT here's the thing make sure you have moved! Show them your address is no longer Heartbreak Hotel and your car is no longer Chitty Chitty bang bang and your man brings you home flowers with a box of chocolates and not an STD anymore.
If you have a friend that you purposely avoid showing your new stuff to...they are a FTH
If you have a friend that takes any opportunity to put you down and remind you of all your mistakes...they are a FTH
If you have a friend that likes to bring you out infront of a new partner...they are a FTH
If you have a friend that has to buy a new sofa, laptop, get a new hairdo or go on holiday just because you did...they are a FTH
If you have a friend that runs off with your hubby, turns your kids against you and steals your identity...........THEY ARE MOST DEFINATELY A FTH!....love y'all!
Here are a few tips we at the Academy have come up with to help you along...
1. Get a bra that fits correctly...there isn't a
human female that should have more than 2 breasts, if your bra is making you look like you have 4...BIN IT!
2. Please, please, please stop rocking a blonde weave if your complexion does not permit it! You know who you are, its time to get over the ' I wanna be a barbie when I grow up' fantasy. We're all grown now and colour 1B (off black)is your friend, please get to know her....FAST!
3. The hem of your skirt should not be longer at the front than at the back...Sure be proud of your curves, just get a well fitted skirt and you will look more together and like you actually looked in the mirror before you left the house!
4. It is better to remove your acrylic tips rather than have a gap that looks as though its about ready to celebrate its 1st birthday!
5. If we can see your areola you are showing too much breast...enough said!
6. Lacefronts: They are great but I am starting a campaign to bring the forehead back, too many are going missing due to incorrect positioning. Please find a reputable technician.
Now ladies I talk from experience, during my blonde ambition days (yes I had some) I was rocking 4 bags of colour 27 (honey blonde) wet 'n' wavy on my 18 year old head. To top it all off I wore a faux fur white knee length coat bought second hand from my grandfather's residential home and had the nerve to wait for the 207 bus on the Uxbridge Road! I thought I looked like Faith Evans in the 'Soon as I get home ' video, I did I think...however it was the glue sniffing version!
So there we have it. I hope this helps some of you...so until next time keep spreading the DIVA!
