Diva Academy

Well as I mentioned last week I would be documenting what I had got up to on Saturday. You were also meant to to do it so I hope that my inbox will be full tomorrow!I spent my weekend with two lovely little girls my partner has named 'The Ragga Twins' so called because of their hysterical split personality! One minute they would be speaking the Queen's English albeit with northweezy twang, then all of a sudden it was as though they had been possessed by Shaka Demus and Pliers!! G and his son were happily chilling in my living room on the Friday night watching Sky sport's news while the twins were playing on the floor...Out of nowhere they just turned to the boy's and said "Who You A Look Pon! I was in the kitchen trying to hold back my laughter because even though it was rude, it was hysterical!

On Saturday night my Mum had a dinner party for about 20 odd guests, I didn't plan to stay but how could I resist the menu of Roast Lamb, Fried chicken, Lamb Curry, Coleslaw, Roast potatoes, Rice 'n' peas, apple crumble, cake and the rest! I ate and ate and the twins performed! "Can you dance girls"? they were asked "Yes", they replied "What can you do then"? "DUTTY WINE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I was in shock but once again couldn't help but laugh, they are so small to look at, then they just shock you with their patois. Like when Sharice (the bossier yet smaller of the two) was chasing Shanice (the bigger and more innocent of the two) It went a little something like this! "Cum ere gal...me a go murder you"!!! Yes I was and still am laughing!

Please note the 4 year old twins were born in the U.K and have spent only a fortnight in Jamaica on holiday last summer. They came back changed women!!!!! Be careful where you send your pickni...I mean children! x

We are all shocked, saddened and slightly amused by the events that we shall call AlfieGate... how did this baby-faced teenager become a father?...How did he survive the attack from that 15 yr old marshmallow?... How can he and the baby have the same sized head?...Questions, Questions, Questions...

The current standing on the case is that a paternity test will be done to confirm whether Alfie is in fact really little Maisie's dad. To date up to 6 other baby's, I mean boy's have come forward including Richard Goodsell, 16 He said: "I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that the baby has my eyes– even my mum thinks so."...Okay Richard!!! And Tyler Barker aged 14who claims just like half of the boys in town to have had a sexual relationship with marshy... To be honest I hope Alfie isn't the daddy, he deserves a second chance and I hope he'll think twice about where he sticks his little matchstick in future!

Hi Reader's...

One of my Diva's asked me today...How do I maintain my Diva at work?

Easy I thought, I don't know about you but if I'm going to have to sit in an office all day and be worked to the bone I better look good while it's happening!

Now I used to hate getting up in the morning for work and not know what to put on and end up getting it all wrong and not feeling my best all day.
My Tip: Prepare what you are going to wear the night before, including shoes, bag and accessories. That way you can already see if its a good look or not and make last minute changes. Now you can stop staring at all the ladies on the tube with you that have it going on....cos now you do too! Preparation is the key.

I used to hate looking in the mirror after lunch because I never looked as good as I did in the morning. Face was all shiny, hair a little flat, perfume faded. The day had worn on and so had I.
My Tip: After lunch see it as the beginning of a totally new shift, go to the bathroom and touch up your make up you'll be suprised at what you can do in 5 minutes. Powder your face, go over your eyeliner, reapply lippy (although I know you've been doing that all day Diva!) If your me you will also reapply blusher and make sure my eyebrows have not rubbed off! Finally spray your perfume and float back to your desk looking HOT!

Talking of desks make it your home from home.
My Tip: Have a photo of your Kid, honey, or fave girls night out. At my old desk I used to write a note to inspire me and stick it up and refer to it all day...Something like 'when I'm rich I'm going blow this place up'. It helped me you may choose something else!

Remember some colleagues and bosses have only been created to STEP ON YOUR DIVA....Don't let it happen, they have no power over you, its a job... I don't want to hear any of you down or depressed because of their antics. Make your paper's and just think of all the Divalicious way's you can spend it!

NOW GET BACK TO WORK!

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V xxx

I bet if you asked any Black woman who her top 5 celebrity White men were they would all mention the same 5! What is it with us, where is the variety in our choice's have these particular 5 been born with some Black girl attracting gene?

You see our men think they know who we like, I bet you can be sure when your other half see's LL Cool J grace the TV screen, he gives you a side glance...just to check, when Terrence Howard comes peering through the TV screen at you with those gorgeous green eyes of his your man starts fidgeting knowing the temperature in the room suddenly went up!.....And as for Tyrese lets jut say all of a sudden there's game to watch on Sky Sports!!! Boy's you are not fooling us!!!

The great thing about liking a CWM is that no one suspects it, you can happily drool over Beckham right in the presence of your man because you know that he love's him too (ok he love's his footie skills) but were all on the same loving page at least!

I have never dated a white man, it just hasn't happened in my life but I have never been anti the idea. I mean it would be great in so many way's, he would be so easy to please as you know he would be sooooo happy to have you on his arm. You could pass corned beef and rice off as some gourmet meal, how would he know it's the equivalent of fish and chips! Also he would show you off like something he won at a Black History month Fair and you know you would be the centre of attention with all his friends saying you look like Naomi Campbell or Beyonce Knowles. You know i'm truth talking now Diva's!

Anyway hope you enjoy the gallery of the top 5 CWM we'd love to LURRRRVVVE! xxx

ps....If your top 5 line up would be different...Holla at a Diva!