Diva Academy

Why has
she done this to herself?

These picture's were taken just over a decade apart...
This is extremly sad. I could make so many jokes about this instead look out for my article SISTA'S AND SURGERY coming soon.

I wrote the blog below earlier today, but thought I would add some visuals to highlight just how brave Jade really is.

None of us who can hear or read could have possibly missed the headline grabbing story that is... JADE GOODY HAS CANCER . On the day it was announced that the cancer become terminal and that she would be dead in a matter of weeks I didn't sleep a wink. I stared at the ceiling, tears rolling down my cheeks, shocked to my very core that this 27 year old mum of two was going to die. I am a very rational person but this story caused me to become fearful and irrational, it caused me to ask the question 'what would I do if it was me?'

I remember when I was a teenager, ordering my friends that if I died I wanted them to scatter my ashes all over the floor at Colosseum (our favourite club!) or else I would come back to haunt them for clubbing without me! I objected to being left in a cold cemetary while they partied the night away...probably wearing my things!!! Maturity is a fantastic gift diva's...! Now my concern would be my daughter, my family and friends who's life I would no longer be a part of.

Like most women I hate having to make the appointment to go for a smear test, I mean who genuinely is excited about having their legs held open by force (don't answer that!) with your odd socks and poor attempt at a Brazilian exposed, then that medieval metal instrument shoved in your Miss Virginia and then having Cyril the cervix swabbed and scraped to within an inch of his life! NOT ME PEOPLE! Anyway saying that I am very on the ball with my smears after having an unsatisfactory result back in my early twenties. The letter came back to me stating that pre-cancerous cells had been found on my cervix and that I would have to have a colposcopy to remove them...The only word that stood out was 'cancerous' I was slightly shaken and proceeded to call my G.p and an appointment was made to have the cells lasered off.

I remember lying once again on my back, legs in stirrups but his time having the privilege of seeing my cervix in all its glory on screen! As the Doctor began the treatment I began to smell burning, I thought the hospital was on fire and began to panic as to how I was going to get to the safety meeting spot in the car park with my bum hanging out of the gown! But obviously the hospital was not on fire it was the abnormal cells being burnt off making me pre-cancerous cell free and able to move on happily and healthily. After that procedure I had to have my smears annually as opposed to every 3 years...but now after 4 years in the clear I can revert back normal...YAY ME!!!

Please ladies don't mess around with your health.

1. Do you know that a broken tooth, can cause an infection that can enter your brain.
   
2. A simple eye test can detect a brain tumour.
   
3. A smear test can prevent cervical cancer leading to an hysterectomy and/or death.
   
4. If you are bleeding very heavily during your periods you could have fibroids or endometriosis (I have been operated on for both-its no joke).
   

The list is endless, we take our kids and cars to get checked at the slightest sign of any problems. What about us? We run the show in our households so we need to be well and what's more our Health system is free so there is no excuse.

I have always liked Jade Goody even her racist episode with Shilpa didn't bother me that much , she is just stupid at times. I do rate the fact that for someone who speaks like they finished their education at 10 years old has done remarkably well for herself, I applaud her hard working nature and her carefree attitude to life and though I don't personally know her I will miss her on TV, I have enjoyed her.

Take care Jade, I salute you Diva x

Well as I mentioned last week I would be documenting what I had got up to on Saturday. You were also meant to to do it so I hope that my inbox will be full tomorrow!I spent my weekend with two lovely little girls my partner has named 'The Ragga Twins' so called because of their hysterical split personality! One minute they would be speaking the Queen's English albeit with northweezy twang, then all of a sudden it was as though they had been possessed by Shaka Demus and Pliers!! G and his son were happily chilling in my living room on the Friday night watching Sky sport's news while the twins were playing on the floor...Out of nowhere they just turned to the boy's and said "Who You A Look Pon! I was in the kitchen trying to hold back my laughter because even though it was rude, it was hysterical!

On Saturday night my Mum had a dinner party for about 20 odd guests, I didn't plan to stay but how could I resist the menu of Roast Lamb, Fried chicken, Lamb Curry, Coleslaw, Roast potatoes, Rice 'n' peas, apple crumble, cake and the rest! I ate and ate and the twins performed! "Can you dance girls"? they were asked "Yes", they replied "What can you do then"? "DUTTY WINE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I was in shock but once again couldn't help but laugh, they are so small to look at, then they just shock you with their patois. Like when Sharice (the bossier yet smaller of the two) was chasing Shanice (the bigger and more innocent of the two) It went a little something like this! "Cum ere gal...me a go murder you"!!! Yes I was and still am laughing!

Please note the 4 year old twins were born in the U.K and have spent only a fortnight in Jamaica on holiday last summer. They came back changed women!!!!! Be careful where you send your pickni...I mean children! x

We are all shocked, saddened and slightly amused by the events that we shall call AlfieGate... how did this baby-faced teenager become a father?...How did he survive the attack from that 15 yr old marshmallow?... How can he and the baby have the same sized head?...Questions, Questions, Questions...

The current standing on the case is that a paternity test will be done to confirm whether Alfie is in fact really little Maisie's dad. To date up to 6 other baby's, I mean boy's have come forward including Richard Goodsell, 16 He said: "I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that the baby has my eyes– even my mum thinks so."...Okay Richard!!! And Tyler Barker aged 14who claims just like half of the boys in town to have had a sexual relationship with marshy... To be honest I hope Alfie isn't the daddy, he deserves a second chance and I hope he'll think twice about where he sticks his little matchstick in future!

Hi Reader's...